There is an old Indian proverb about the delhi ka laddu, a delicacy known for its excessive sugariness: "who ever doesn't eat the delhi ka laddu feels denied, and whoever does eat it feels disgusted" Office politics can be quite similar - it can be extremely tempting to enter into that whole world of gossip and backbiting, but once you have been gossiped against, you soon realise what a destructive practice it is. But how do you stay out of it when everyone else is doing it?

Here are a couple of tips:

1. Avoid gossip.

When people come to you with gossip, it is a very subtle way of getting you to take their side in whatever tangle is happening at the moment. It often contains things about someone you like which you wish you'd never heard. We are all imperfect, and we all have some weakness or unfortunate incident that too place in our lives that could be used as the subject of gossip. Regular gossiping really encourages a narrow world-view where you only see the worst in everyone.

You can change your gossiping habit without sticking out like a sore thumb. Gossips usually arises at certain places and times - . If someone comes up to you with gossip, you can tell them you'd prefer not to hear things about people you have to work with every day, this sounds a little better than 'I'm avoiding all gossip'. And remember: in avoiding gossip you may be going against the flow, but that's what distinguishes leaders from followers.

2. Learn how to criticise without offending

Sometimes people need to be criticised, but people's pride naturally comes to the fore when they are criticised, and you need to figure out how to get that out of the equation. One sure sign that you are doing it wrong is if you are getting a subtle sense on enjoyment out of it!

One thing that helps is to put yourself in the shoes of the person making that mistake, and feel that you yourself could have easily made that mistake. Then when you have to speak to the person who made the mistake, you are not speaking from a vantage point of superiority. My good friend Tejvan Pettinger has written a very nice guide to criticising wothout offending, which mentions all the techniques I would have mentioned and more...

3. Don't let a situation build up past the point of no return

It is very easy to hold a grudge against someone as a result of something that didn't go your way; however with time this hardens into something permanenent and you feel totally unable to approach that person. Try to keep the lines of communication open to everyone, however slight. Sometimes forced humility is needed to keep a situation from going beyond rescue, but rest assured; life has a way of making sure over-arrogant people get the chastening experience they need sooner or later.

4. Prize long-term harmony over short-term goals.

When working on a project, especially one with a deadline, remember that these most likely will be the same people that you will be working in future, and the actions you take now colour their experience of how future projects are going to turn out. If you encounter problems working with new people, try to give them some teething room. Give everyone ample credit for what theyve contributed - inwardly as well as outwardly! A team that can keep together and finetune their combined capacity over years are an invaluable asset to any working environment.