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Sometime, when I get up on the wrong side of the bed, instead of sitting down to meditate straight away, I will make myself a cup of rooibos tea, put on some meditative music and sit down at my laptop and read some meditative writings on Sri Chinmoy Library for ten minutes or so. Here is something I read this morning:

“Some people say they don’t believe in the existence of God, the Supreme. But I wish to say that someone may not believe in God as infinite Consciousness or infinite Power, but he has to have some belief and some conviction of his own; and this is the same as believing in God. If a seeker is against the concept of God, if he is afraid or if he is doubtful, let him follow his own path. Let us take away the word ‘God’ from his dictionary. Let him have the feeling that there is no God. Let him go as far as possible in negating God. At the end of his negation, there he will see that positive Truth emerges. At the end of his journey Truth looms large and he can take this Truth as infinite Consciousness or boundless Energy.“

(taken from God’s Vision-Dawn, by Sri Chinmoy )

My teacher’s philosophy has always found a way to establish a oneness between the contrasting forces of life - for example, how to have a tranquil inner life and dynamic outer life at the same time. In the above paragraph, again we see how in a few sentences he can make two seemingly irreconcilable viewpoints - atheism and religion - seem not so different after all. I always get rather sad when I see any divisive issue that groups people into opposite extremes, and it has to be said the tension between atheism and God-believers has gotten rather pronounced lately. But, with a little inner sincerity, if we can all go deep within and feel the inner conviction that drives us, we can feel it is the same yearning for truth expressed through different channels. I have great admiration for many writers who are atheist or agnostic - when they write, you can feel their inner conviction and concern for humanity in such a way that resonates with the core of my being. One example that struck me in the past year or so was reading Mikhail Gorbachev’s autobiography - I was really struck by the inner strength and humility of this great soul, and can honestly say I finished the book a more spiritual person than whan I started it!

Nothing here is intended to patronise atheists or to say to them “see, you really believe in God after all…”; it is just to suggest there is somehow a shared experience there, which it might serve us better to recognise before being so quick to point out our differences.

(Picture by Kedar Misani at Sri Chinmoy Centre galleries - I’m not sure how it ties in with the post, but it just looks nice…)

…I gradually form the habit of listening inwardly, whenever I want to say something, to be sure I have the authority to say it. Gradually I learn to keep my mouth shut, except when I really have something to say. And I come to recognize two beings in my self: a personal ego which is often inclined to chatter, without control, purely for the sake of communicating and attracting attention to my person - and in the background of my consciousness, a higher self which restrains my personal ego, telling it when and what it is to speak and do, and when it is to reman silent or passive. The important thing is to listen to and obey the orders of this higher self. Merely to hear its commands is not enough….

excerpt from ‘Initiation’ - by Elisabeth Haich

In the book, the above passage comes shortly after the author casually talks about spirituality with her trusted servant, only to realise that the servant isn’t ready to assimilate such lofty thoughts, and that telling her might even have done more harm than good by causing her undue worry. It is a passage I can most certainly identify with. I remember after I discovered the joys of meditation for the first time, I was in such a hurry to tell everyone about meditation and how great it was. Invariably many conversations around this time, if they did not start with meditation, would inevitably be turned towards meditation and end with a lengthy monologue on its benefits.

However, with the expansion of one’s meditation, one’s heart also expands. More and more, I come to realise that every human being has his own way through which his soul must make progress - for some this way will be through some kind of spiritual practice, for others their purpose might lie in making great music, art, some amazing athletic feat or perhaps raising kids, helping their community, or just getting by as best they can.

And with time, the inner voice that I yearn to connect with in meditation also comes to the fore in outer life, and I remember more and more to consult it before I talk, for it knows not only what is best for me but for everyone else, the inner voice of each human being inseperable from the inner voice of the Universe.

More and more, I remember to envision the soul of each person I am talking to, and to pray that my voice be one that is of service to it and not one that delays its progress. I always try to keep any conversation I have inspiring (in fact of late, I have become more determined to either raise the tone of any uninspiring conversation I get entangled in or tactfully detach myself from it - life’s just waaay too short to be talking about nothing), but more and more I try and judge ‘inspiring’ more from that inner feeling and less from an ‘everything-would-be-great-if-everyone-was-all-like-me’ perspective.